Listing for love
My friend Syd, on her blog:
I wonder if it might be helpful for me to figure out what I might be looking for, hypothetically, in the opposite sex. Preferably before I start dating again.
Many smart people have spoken of making a list of the qualities they would want in a mate. It’s a great idea. And my dear friend Rowan wrote a post in my honor today, encouraging me to do so. I’m still not sure I’m ready. But I’ve printed her list out and posted it in my home office (aka bedroom). And it just might be the impetus I need.
Have you ever made a list? Would you be willing to share what qualities you’ve added to it?
I have made two such lists in my lifetime. One is very, very old; and indeed I can’t find it. Stylistically, it resembled Rowan’s. In my mind, it was kind of a tag cloud, an evocation of what I thought I should look for. Its purpose was affirmational more than anything: it was a way to get past defeating self-talk, to recognize that I was able to seek a truly fulfilling relationship.
More recently, I made a 3×3+♥ list shortly after my divorce finalized (which was well after the split — March ‘06, maybe?), and I have updated it several times. Most recently, just a couple of weeks ago, as I re-read I Capture The Castle (thanks Madelyn!).
I don’t think I’m willing to publicly share all of it. But how about some of it?
Posted by Dan Hallock | Filed under Uncategorized
This website uses IntenseDebate comments, but they are not currently loaded because either your browser doesn't support JavaScript, or they didn't load fast enough.
One Response to “Listing for love”
July 5th, 2009 at 19:07
Have had this post open for a couple days now, ruminating. I like the cubed format, now that I see it in action – and I like your headings a lot!! I especially like the quotes at the end. And I like that it's a work in progress, that makes the whole thing feel less intimidating. I'm not sure why I'm so reluctant to start my own, especially when it's such a good idea, but I must say – this format does make it seem a lot more pleasant. Thank you for sharing this, Dan.
P.S. My auto-compliment is: Roses are red & violets are blue; they're both very nice and so are readers like you!
Leave a Reply