3×3+♥ (A process for self-reflection)

Although I have tried many times, I’ve never been able to write a traditional daily journal. I have some specific hangups about it (my mother had a habit of reading her kids’ diaries), but I think part of the issues is also just stylistic: I am a socially awkward geek. I have a hard time opening up to a blank page just as I have a hard time opening up at the beginning of a conversation. But get me going, and I will pour out my soul.

When I got significantly into David Allen’s GTD system a few years ago, one of the most important observations for me was how useful it could be to apply the same structure, over and over, to lots of different areas of life. Need to get this computer fixed by next week? Open a project, write down the next action, put it in a trusted system. Want to get better about maintaining your friendships? Open a project, write down the next action, put it in a trusted system. Whether the goal is fixing that weird label ordering bug, losing weight, setting up a new user’s computer, or cleaning the closet, applying the same system over and over has tremendous value in helping me stay on top of my own priorities. (Not that I succeed in doing it all the time. But often enough to know the value.)

So at one point when wrestling with trying to define some of my thoughts on a subject, I came up with a process that I’ve found to be repeatable and useful, at least for me. I called it 3×3. I would start with three positive things about the subject — pros, if I was trying to make a decision; or affirmations, if I was trying to remind myself of something; or hopes/desires, if I was trying to choose between different options or train myself to recognize future opportunities. Then three negative things — cons, red flags, or things to avoid. Then, three things that helped me relate myself to the subject — mistakes made in the past to learn from, promises to myself for the future, or practical considerations before I could achieve the positives.

Yes, those categories are kind of open-ended. But with only three per category, nine things total, I found that I was able to surface the things I needed to think about fairly well. (Usually, the first two in each category are easy, and then I agonize over the third.)

I have used this two ways. One is to make a decision. I made a 3×3 list when I was deciding whether to offer myself for employment to my best client, or keep up with the self-employment gig; I made one when getting ready to buy my condo.

However, I have also used them as ongoing reminders, as notes-to-self. They go into my reviews (what GTD calls the Weekly Review, except that I don’t do it every week). This second type I have extended into 3×3+♥, or Three Times Three Plus Inspiration. (Why the heart character for inspiration? I dunno, it’s just what I put in TextMate on the first one I made, and I like it.)

In the ♥ section, I gather quotes, note down musings, write questions that help me think about the subject at hand when I read the file during my reviews.

I made a template

Personally, I have always just made text files for my 3×3+♥ lists. But I am inspired to share the method (I’ll get into the why in my next post :-), and this seems like the sort of thing that a lot of people would do with pen and paper, rather than with their computer. So I made a template.

It’s still largely a blank page. But there’s just enough structure there to make it work better for me. Maybe somebody else out there will find it useful as well.

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Permalink | July 3rd, 2009

Posted by Dan Hallock | Filed under Uncategorized